Wishing for help…

In these rough times, in which his condition gets worse day by day… she tries to do what everyone else told her… to be strong… for herself, for us and especially for him. We do not know how much time there is… He might resist longer, he might not.

She’s afraid of the times that she must go away to work, and leave us with him. She fears that something may happen and we couldn’t handle the situation… and I fear for that as well…

Anyway, we must give her our support, our comprehension to what is happening… and yet… she feels that she could only count on me. I do not know how to help her, how to comfort her and I do not think that what I do is good enough…. actually.. I’m sure of this last thing.

Yesterday… she told me about new things that are happening with him… and as she spoke she began to cry. I was blocked. I stayed there “frozen”… thinking “what can I do?”, “what should I say?”… but still…. I did nothing… I just waited until she finished without saying a word.

I don’t know how to react on this kind of things… I don’t know if the words that come in my mind are the right ones… and for fear of greater dissapointment… I remain “frozen”…

It’s bad… I know that very well…

And yet… everytime I give her a hug and kiss her… she thanks me for being there for her… I think that she knows how difficult is for me to open up and help with words… and she accepts my hugs and kisses instead.

But I’m glad that she can trust me enough to tell me what’s happening… because I know that she suffers at the fact that he isn’t there for her too…

… I wish I could do more though…